wumpusfiles (wumpusfiles) wrote,


I just spent the evening talking to my friends. I haven't done that in awhile, so it was good to catch up with them. A lot of the time I take the idea of friendship for granted. I usually don't see my friends as a good outlet for getting out my emotions. I usually feel that it is a burden to put my issues onto someone else. But as one of my friends said "If you don't have your family to talk to, you go down the list. That's what their there for."

I would have to say that the bulk of the nights topic(s) centered around my stuff. Which is okay I guess, I don't always get to have the opportunity to speak my mind. I belive that is what is wrong with me...mostly. I found out today that my friends really do care about the way things have been going with me recently. I figured that they should just stay out of the fray, but recent events have in a way put them in no matter how I tried to get them out. Also that what I have written here may have put others a bit off.

I know that what is written here is not really protected. That anyone who knows my screen name can check out the days thoughts at any time. I don't mean to say things that may hurt, or even worry folks. But I feel that sometimes it is the only place where I can speak my mind, and not feel like somebody will reject the way I express myself.

However, I am trying really hard to make sure that if I have a problem, or even a good thought about someone that I talk to that person. It is very hard for me to explain myself sometimes. I feel that the possibility of rejection far out weighs the attempt to communicate. Then it comes down to the only option that I have is making telepathy happen. Like I expect people to know how I feel just by looking at me.
Much like right now, I can type away and babble forever. But the person I need to talk to will never know how I feel unless I talk. Its scary, but life is scary. I just need to learn how to deal.

Thanks guys for the talk, it helped put things in perspective...
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