I would have to say that the bulk of the nights topic(s) centered around my stuff. Which is okay I guess, I don't always get to have the opportunity to speak my mind. I belive that is what is wrong with me...mostly. I found out today that my friends really do care about the way things have been going with me recently. I figured that they should just stay out of the fray, but recent events have in a way put them in no matter how I tried to get them out. Also that what I have written here may have put others a bit off.
I know that what is written here is not really protected. That anyone who knows my screen name can check out the days thoughts at any time. I don't mean to say things that may hurt, or even worry folks. But I feel that sometimes it is the only place where I can speak my mind, and not feel like somebody will reject the way I express myself.
However, I am trying really hard to make sure that if I have a problem, or even a good thought about someone that I talk to that person. It is very hard for me to explain myself sometimes. I feel that the possibility of rejection far out weighs the attempt to communicate. Then it comes down to the only option that I have is making telepathy happen. Like I expect people to know how I feel just by looking at me.
Much like right now, I can type away and babble forever. But the person I need to talk to will never know how I feel unless I talk. Its scary, but life is scary. I just need to learn how to deal.
Thanks guys for the talk, it helped put things in perspective...